Watch Therapy Unfold Live Recap: A TEAM-CBT Journey from Panic to Peace

A Webinar Summary for Therapists

What We Covered: The Heart of the Matter

Dear colleagues, what an incredible journey we just witnessed! If you missed our live therapy demonstration with Madeleine, don't worry—I'm going to walk you through everything, including some deeply moving moments that brought tears to many eyes (including David's!).

We dove deep into how a single news article about an abducted young woman triggered a sleepless night of panic and terror for Madeleine, a therapist and mother whose daughter is studying abroad. But here's the beautiful part: we showed you exactly how to help someone transform crushing anxiety into peace—not by fighting it, but by first understanding why it makes perfect sense.

The Journey Begins: Meeting Madeleine Where She Is

Let me tell you about Madeleine, a therapist and mother who volunteered to work with us live. She'd been at the hair salon, reading a magazine when she came across an article about a young woman who was abducted.

That night, she couldn't sleep. As she told us, "I was lying in bed going, what is my problem? There's nothing wrong. Everybody's fine." But then her thoughts went to that article, and she began spiraling into what she called "the black hole"—thinking about her daughter studying abroad, about Natalee Holloway, about all the terrible things that can happen to young women.

Testing (T): The Numbers Don't Lie

We started with Madeleine's Brief Mood Survey:

• Depression: 5/20 (mild)
• Anxiety: 18/20 (almost maximum!)
• Positive feelings: 20/40 (robbed of joy by anxiety)

Her Daily Mood Log revealed the intensity:

• Sad: 85%
• Anxious: 100%
• Inadequate: 100%
• Frustrated: 90%
• Upset: 100%

David's Rant Alert: "When I hear about therapists who don't use measurement tools and just tell patients to 'go out in nature,' my blood boils! That's been known for 2,000 years to be garbage. You NEED to see exactly what your patient is thinking and feeling!"

Empathy (E): Going to the Gates of Hell

We spent about 30 minutes just listening to Madeleine, not trying to help or change anything. When she started crying and apologized, saying tears "get in the way," we said, "No! Tears are good. They're not in the way at all."

Madeleine revealed deeper layers:

• She'd struggled with fertility before having her daughters
• She'd been telling herself "I wasn't present enough for her" since her daughter was a newborn
• Her parents' divorce when she was 11 taught her to "put up walls"
• She worried she'd been too harsh, creating an anxious, people-pleasing daughter

The Empathy Grade: We asked Madeleine to grade us (A, B, C, D) on three dimensions:

1. Thought empathy: Did we understand what she was telling herself? (A)
2. Feeling empathy: Did we get how she was feeling? (A)
3. Connection: Did we create warmth and trust? (A)

Triple A! But here's the key—we had to earn it. No rushing, no helping, just being with her in her pain.

Assessment of Resistance (A): The Magic That Changes Everything

This is where TEAM-CBT turns traditional therapy on its head. Instead of trying to help Madeleine feel better, we did something unusual.

The Magic Button: "Madeleine, if we had a magic button that would make all your anxiety disappear instantly, would you press it?"

Positive Reframing: We asked, "What do your negative thoughts and feelings show about you that's beautiful and awesome?"

The list was profound:

• Keeps me vigilant as a parent
• Shows family is important to me
• Shows I'm raising strong women
• Protects my daughters from danger
• Shows humility and honesty
• Motivates learning and growth
• Shows how much I love my daughters
• Shows I'm accountable and responsible

The Pivot Question: "Given all these benefits, why would you want to give up these feelings?"

This is what we call "the death of the therapist's ego"—we're literally arguing AGAINST change! And paradoxically, that's when Madeleine started arguing FOR change: "I don't need any more sleepless nights!"

The Magic Dial: Instead of eliminating all negative feelings, we asked Madeleine to dial them down to levels that made sense:

• Sadness: 85% → 30%
• Anxiety: 100% → 35%
• Inadequacy: 100% → 30%

Methods (M): The Transformation

Once resistance was melted away, we used several powerful techniques:

1. Identify and Explain the Distortions

Madeleine identified 6 distortions in "My daughter is not safe":

• Magnification
• All-or-nothing thinking
• Mental filter
• Discounting the positive
• Fortune telling
• Emotional reasoning

When we asked her to explain why mental filter made the thought untrue, she realized: "I'm only seeing news stories... these are rare occurrences."

Her positive thought: "She is likely safe. These terrible things are highly unlikely."

2. Externalization of Voices (One of David's Most Powerful Techniques!)

We role-played with Madeleine fighting back against her negative thoughts:

Negative Madeleine (played by me): "Your daughter is not safe! She's surrounded by creeps and sociopaths!"

Positive Madeleine: "It's easy to get sucked into your BS, but she's in a good program with good friends. I need to stop listening to you—it's unlikely, it's cruel, and it's not helpful!"

The transformation was visible—Madeleine went from tearful to strong and laughing.

3. Double Standard Technique

I played Madeleine's "clone"—a dear friend with identical struggles:

Clone (me): "I keep telling myself I wasn't present enough for my daughter..."

Madeleine: "You took it so seriously to be a good parent! You were very present. Did you mess up sometimes? Sure. But she's turned out to be a wonderful young lady."

When I asked if this was also true for her, Madeleine paused, then teased: "No - it’s just a bunch of BS you're feeding me... (haha) … Yes, it's true for me too."

The Results: From 100% to Freedom

By the end:

• Sad: 85% → 0%
• Anxious: 100% → 10%
• Inadequate: 100% → 15%
• Frustrated: 90% → 10%
• Upset: 100% → 10-15%

Far beyond her goals! When David asked if these were honest, Madeleine said yes, and explained what helped most: "Making me write down what I was saying... 'She is likely safe'... I was believing it."

The Counterintuitive Nature of This Work

Here is the heart of TEAM-CBT:

• We don't fight symptoms—we find what's beautiful in them
• We don't push for change—we explore reasons NOT to change
• We measure everything (no mysterious "corrective emotional experiences")

As David said about a patient who doubted the brief mood survey: "The problem isn't that patients won't be honest. The problem is: Can therapists tolerate patient honesty?"

Practice Assignment: Your Turn!

1. Try the Daily Mood Log yourself

• Pick a moment when you felt upset this week.
• Write down your negative thoughts (don't just think them—WRITE!).
• Rate your emotions 0-100%.
• As Madeleine discovered, just doing this provides relief.

2. Practice Positive Reframing with a colleague

• Take turns sharing a worry or self-criticism
• Ask: "What does this show about you that's positive?"
• Ask: "How might this be helping you?"
• Notice any resistance to seeing the beauty in symptoms

3. Experiment with Measurement

• Use David's Brief Mood Survey with one patient this week.
• Ask for empathy grades (prepare for humility!).
• Notice what you learn that surprises you.

Ready to experience this approach firsthand? Explore Online CBT Therapy.

Key Takeaways and Pearls of Wisdom

1. Write down your negative thoughts - Without the Daily Mood Log, you're flying blind
2. Resistance reveals values - Your patients' symptoms show what they care about most
3. Empathy without helping - Go to the gates of hell and just BE there
4. Change happens at the gut level - Not through intellectual understanding
5. The patient must defeat their own negative thoughts - We're just the coaches

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

• Rushing through empathy (Madeleine graded us A's because we took 30+ minutes!)
• Trying to help too soon (Creates resistance)
• Avoiding measurement (Because you might get bad news)
• Fighting against symptoms (Instead of finding their beauty)
• Believing change takes months or years (We did a lot in just 2 hours!)

Final Reflection: The Metamorphosis

David observed near the end: "I saw a transformation in you, like a metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. The strong woman you're aspiring to for yourself and your daughters emerged during the session."

And when David asked Madeleine what she could do to help her daughters, she realized: "Not beat myself up." Because once she gets good at that, her daughters will learn it too.

The beauty of TEAM-CBT is that we don't have to choose between caring deeply and letting go. We can have vigilance WITH peace, high standards WITH self-compassion, intense love WITHOUT paralyzing fear.

With warmth and admiration, Jill (channeling David's spirit)

P.S. One last gem from Madeleine: Just filling out the Daily Mood Log the next day after volunteering provided "a huge sense of relief." Don't dismiss these simple tools—they're life-changing!

Appendix: TEAM‑CBT Roadmap

TEAM is an acronym for Testing, Empathy, Assessment of Resistance, and Methods—but more than just a checklist, it’s a structured roadmap that integrates the strongest predictors of successful outcomes into every session. It’s flexible and effective across anxiety, depression, OCD, trauma, habits, addictions—and more.

Core Components

• T — Testing: Use brief, validated measures (e.g., a daily mood log) at the beginning and end of every session to track progress, spotlight alliance ruptures, and pinpoint exactly where to focus your next move.
• E — Empathy: Before introducing any techniques, deeply understand the client’s experience by using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication—listening for emotions, reflecting accurately, validating feelings, asking gentle questions, and summarizing succinctly. These refined skills build trust, repair ruptures, and create a safe container so your client feels truly heard.
• A — Assessment of Resistance: This phase uncovers outcome resistance (good reasons NOT to change) and process resistance (good reasons NOT to do the work required for change). By surfacing the hidden “benefits” of a problem—using paradoxical invitations, cost–benefit analyses, and “magic button” questions—you transform resistance into genuine client‑driven motivation and collaboration.
• M — Methods: This phase taps into over 100 powerful cognitive, behavioral, and interpersonal interventions.. From cognitive restructuring and role‑plays to behavioral experiments and exposure therapy, each technique is tailored to your client’s unique needs, translating insight into targeted action for rapid symptom relief and lasting change 

Each method builds on the previous ones, creating a powerful sequence that honors resistance before attempting change—the heart of what makes TEAM-CBT so effective!

Biggest takeaway: TEAM‑CBT gives you a repeatable process you can use with every client, every session, for faster, deeper results.

Want to see the full transformation unfold in real time? Watch the complete live TEAM-CBT demonstration and experience the process step by step.